Risk Factors of Rape and Importance of Sex Education.

Rape is sexual assault that affects all the core areas if the victim. It is damaging because it is a violation of mind and body in one of the most cruel forms of control and subjugation. The word rape is used when no express consent was given and the sexual act is carried out by physical force, subtle or obvious coercion, abuse of authority, manipulation, drug or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such aage of consents one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has intellectual disability or is below the age of consent. Sadly the government of Nigeria is confused as the age of consent to have sex is different from the age of adulthood. To make matters worse, any child who is married - regardless or circumstances aurrounding such attrocity us considered as being of full age under Nigerian Law. An entrepreneur who I invited to participate and bring his son on board for the Book Launch of CSA-WITB later today returned to say himself and his wide decided they dis not want to expose their children to the content of the book. Why? Many parents hide from exposing or educating their children about sex and sexuality. From experience, it is better you sanely inform, educate and enlighten children than let the system insanely educate them. Middle school curriculum in America now includes LGBTQ etc. What are the advantages of sexuality education 1. Healthy Gender Identity There will be no confusion. My brother was very close to my mum and admired her greatly. If he had not been taught about sexuality, he would have grown up with a warped sense that God made a mistake in his gender assignment. I know someone who was very feminine is how he walked and talked while we were in school, he is today ana ctor, married and blessed. The child will understand what sex is based on divinely assigned genitals and accept gender rather than turn gender to a case of feelings 2. Body Positivity Children will feel more comfortable and positive about their body and gender especially if you prove to be reliable and honest with no shaming. Please do not call penis toto or buttocks buddy. The language you use would determine how comfortable they would be about talking about the subject f sex and sexuality. Learn body parts and what is appropriate and inappropriate with regards to body parts that is private and what is public. Information empowers children 3. Prevent Misinformation By directly teaching children in your area of influence, you can share authentic and reliable information assuming your own knowledge is appropriate and adequate. It is important not to mislead or misdirect children. 4. Good Communication A child you are comfortable speaking about sexuality to is a child who will be comfortable comign to you with sexuality questions. Sex education fosetrs open communictaion between parent and child. 5. Better Understanding Many adult males have no idea how the female body works, they have no clue that during periods a woman’s hormones flare up and she may become irritable. Some get married and start using flashlight to look for children. By communicating with a child, you sieve the wheat from the chaff and correct any misinformation they may have gathered from other sources. Speaking to a child helps the child understand different types of changes. 6. Set boundaries Talking about sex and sexuality will help your child know, set and acknowledge boundaries and delay intercourse regardless of gender. a male child who has not been taught could lose it when erect. Whereas one who is taught would know to control libido and be disciplined enough to ask at every point if the female is ready for sexual intercourse. 7. Recognise and Accept of change Many girls cry when they first see their period. They cry, they hide, all because no one informed them to expect this change that will rmain with them for about 40 years. Some boys experience erection and think something is wrong; some train their minds to refuse erection or otherwise, both spectrums may have damaging effects in adut life. Speaking to a child helps the child recognise and accept physical and emotional changes. 8. Teach Skills Parents can teach skills especially assertiveness skills via sex and sexuality education. Your child is more likely to report inappropriate sexual touch when he or she is sexually aware. This will lead such children to be confident speaking about abuse. This will ensure children are safer and less liekly to be exploited by sexual predators 9. Informed Value Based Sexual Decisions Children who are informed are able to make informed and sensible sexual decisions now and later. We must understand that sharing information is not express permission to have sex. Informed children are guided and guarded by values. Once children are in teenage years, in as much as our preference is for them to wai till marriage, we must teach them how to protect themselves. It is better that their stupidity does not earn you the award of parents to their children at a time when they are still being parented by you! 10. Delay Sexual Activity Children with knowledge of sex and sexuality are more likely to delay sex till they are ready for the responsibility rather than see it as a pathway for emotinal, unguarded act. When they make that decision eventually, they wold look forward to enjoying it and actally would rather than find it nausueating. Many laws across cultures make reference to rape only in context of women being victims but this often excludes those who have intimate relationship. The psychological trauma of rape is reason laws must protect all concerned. This includes depression, fear, anxiety, shock, suicide, disordered sleeping, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance abuse, psychosis, attention deficit disorder etc. Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act 2015. VAPP, which is in effect in the Federal Capital Territory Abuja, Nigeria, extends the meaning of rape. I urge you to read it. The provision of VAPPA is broad and fills lacuna in Criminal and Penal Code. VAPPA provides for compensation and therapeutic care for victims. It states imprisonment for offenders. Unfortunately only few states have domesticated the Act. The issue of rape has been a legal quagmire in Nigeria, as the law previously did not recognise that a man can be raped. Rape is a criminal offence under the Nigerian Law. Unfortunately, dominance of Christianity, Islam and Traditional religions in Nigeria has made legal reforms on rape challenging. 1t takes more that deposit and withdrawal to run a sex account! Any form of molestation, assault, harassment or battery in a bid to force anyone to consent to sex is a criminal offence. Sex should come from the point of human and humane intimacy not bestiality. Tis conversation continues as my team and I will at 7PM present our book - Child Sexual Abuse: Who is to blame to the public. I invite you all to join us. The year is 2020 and I just added my voice to a future that delivers equity to girl. I urge you to do the same. I thank the organisers for counting me worthy of an invitation and I thank you all for listening.